The black duck

We have this saying that goes something like "I'm not the black duck" though in the English language it's a sheep rather than a duck.... the point is at some point we tend to feel we are different and the difference causes us to be picked on. Ever felt this way?

Today, whilst enjoying the lovely weather in the UK (which doesn't happen often) I had a weird thought.. it was more of a question that didn't really make sense even to me!

The question was something like "have you ever wondered what a lost child feels?" I mean having to figure out what they do and how to be independent for those few minutes before s/he is reunited with his family? But then I answered myself "we were all kids at some point and we all got lost so we do in fact know".. but do we?

If I ask my mum how many times I was lost in a shopping mall or in the market or anywhere she wouldn't be able to remember the as they were many... I remember just some too but I don't quiet remember what I felt back then..

What does that have to do with the duck? Nothing...

Recently I have started to observe people's behaviours and taken mental notes... they don't add up... It's like some people are acting like that lost kid.. trying to find independence but relying on others to help them out. Is that right or wrong?

I also met a lot of people in the last few months who are ready to attack once they feel you're having that "black duck" feeling or even like that lost kid. They see you as an easy target and start reflecting their insecurities on attacking you. The worst thing you can do is attack them back. It doesn't add up..

I am sure when I read this in the morning I'm going to find it as confusing as anyone else who reads it. I guess it has just been one of those days where I'm not thinking straight.

On that note, time to go to bed!

If I learnt anything today it has go to be the following - don't trust people regardless of how nice they may seem. Once they see you as the "black duck" you will see a totally different side to them..

Let's tango..

Dear world.. you want to play? Let's play

I had enough. I tried to be nice and the world kept hitting back.. So time to stop being so nice. If it's a game then let's all play!

It's hard to realise what you are going through unless you see it through others' eyes. The problem is you can't. Not until it's after it all happens. 

I reflected on a few major events in my life over the last few years. Some events were dramatic like when I had surgery but freaked out at just the thought of being in hospital. Other events were nicer such as a time when I tried to find a suitable outfit to attend my sister's wedding in (and this is still ongoing as I still have no idea what I'll wear!!).

Looking back at these events I realised what people surrounding me must have thought. Take the surgery for instance. Everyone around me must have wondered why I'm panicking. It seemed simple and have been done billions of times and I was going home the same day or the following day by the latest. To me, it felt like I was having a heart transplant!

They always say one should seek the advice of those surrounding him/her at such difficult times as those outside the circle will be able to see the full story. What if you can't? What if you are so involved in the dilemma that you can't think clearly nor see that there are others around you? 

These are questions I doubt I will find the answers too...

Dear diary...

... I mean dear blog of course... This week has proved to be a difficult one.. It's really interesting though!

so what did I learn... lots!!

I learned the importance of friends. You really have no idea what they mean to you until you need them around you. If you have been a good friend you will find them by your side and ready to sacrifice a lot for you. If you have been a terrible friend, well, it depends on your friends I suppose.. Some will still be amazing and some will not..

The choices we make in this life are difficult.. One wrong choice can cause a lot of stress. One good choice can save you from a lot of stress.. I believe choosing your friends is one of the most difficult decisions one will ever make..

I also learned how determined I am to succeed. It's scary how determined I am actually as it causes a lot of frustration when I face difficulties... but what's the solution? Not a clue..

I have 2 weeks off from work (hope the weather remains as great as it is at the moment) and I plan to read a lot of books... books I have been putting aside until I have time to read them..

So until next time, time to switch off and sleep... night y'all

The melon seeds...

OK those of you who haven't been to Arab countries will find this weird so apologies in advance...

Today I had another one of those days that make no sense... but one of the things that I learned is that i eating melon seeds the way they shouldn't be... I'm swallowing them after crushing them.. they are meant to be split and only the inside should be eaten... (i know that sounds crazy anyway but I won't talk about it for too long so hang on)..

It made me wonder... do we always have to do things the way they should be done? can't we just break the rules?

As I'm writing, Amr Adeeb (TV presenter who is really annoying but I'm watching him nonetheless) is talking about Mubarak (Egyptian president - not that anyone doesn't know him) is still alive... OK and? he's alive.. great... so? He's not dead after the operation... OK and what? He found a camera man at such late notice to film outside the hospital... you went all the way to film OUTSIDE the hospital??!! why am i watching this guy!! Well this is one of the new ways of creating a popular TV program.

I discovered something new about me today... i like to break the rules... i don't try to open a window in a plane or anything (not that i could! Yes, I've tried!!!) but i like to be different... I like to challenge all the given ways of doing things.. I like to try new things and watch as i succeed or fail miserably... the experience itself amazes me...

I am going to try something tomorrow.. I will do everything in a way it wasn't meant to be done.. I am not sure how yet but it'll be my challenge for tomorrow.. It may make the day more fun and it may all blow-up...

Anyone wishes to join the experience and feedback tomorrow?

Time to blog!

Following the advice of a dear friend I decided to have my own blog. As it's too late in the day to start one now I thought this was a start I can do quickly before I sleep.

I don't know what the blog will be like.. I doubt it will be political as I'm one of those people who tends to ignore politics.. Don't ask me why.. I don't know..

I doubt it will be anything to do with finance. Ask those who really know me and they'll tell you what a disaster I am when it comes to financial issues.

It won't be about giving out advice on life or romance or anything else for that matter. It will be my own learning experience as I go through this odd life. It's not easy and I learn something new every day.

I am not reaching for an audience and becoming famous. I am hoping to document what I'm learning for my own sake and maybe someone reading this would find something somewhere useful. Maybe. Maybe not.

The lesson I learnt today was very tough. I learned that people can easily decieve you. They can pretend to be angels when they need you and turn into demons when they no longer do. The switch between both characters can be very scary but it takes an instant to happen.

I also learnt that nothing will last. So you can choose to stay in the safe side (which also isn't guranteed) and live a boring life or risk it and find out what happens next. I have always lived on the edge. Always jumping around and moving from one adventure to another when it came to my career. The minute I stopped to play it safe my life turned really dull and I lost the most distinctive feature I had. Being a very positive person who loves life.

Well, today I quit my job (those who know me will know I quit this same job hundreds of times before but I never went through with it) I tried to live on the safe side remember? It turned me into a depressed person and I lost faith in so many things. But the tine has come to stop.

I quit last Friday and made it official today. It's hard especially as I still don't have a secure job to go to but I guess it's better to leave then figure out what I will do next.

I am starting to document my experience as I enter the world of the unknown. How will it go? How will it end? Who knows! All I know is that the time has come to return to my positive self and learn more on the way..

يوم الاثنين 8 مارس

مروة: اليوم بدأ ظريف بفكرة سفر حسام وحازم لتسجيل حلقة أحمد شوبير ودكتور أيمن نور... بس الناس اللي قرأت أول حكاية ليَّ مع 710 جرينتش هتعرف إنه لعنة الفراعنة اللي ماسكة البرنامج مش بتنام ولا يهدى لها بال....

حازم عنده مشكلة في السفر ومش هيسافر!

ورغم إنه حازم زعل مني (بهزار) إني ماذكرتهوش في الصفحة اللي فاتت إلا إنه اصبح دلوقتي نجم اليوم اللي احنا فيه ده... يا رب يا حازم تكون مبسوط :)

بس الجزء الكويس في انهارده إن احنا بدأنا بالفعل تكثيف مجهودنا عشان نجيب الناس اللي أنتم نفسكم نجيبها ومنها دكتور أحمد زويل وعمرو موسى وعمرو اديب... ادعولنا بقى

الخطة دلوقتي إنه حسام وأنا هنسافر إلى القاهرة يوم الثلاثاء صباحا (بدري قوي)

المشكلة اللي سمعناها كمان انهارده إنه الحلقة الخاصة بوزير الثقافة المصري فاروق حسني هي كمان فيها مشاكل ولازم تتظبط قبل يوم الخميس

ولما يكون في خبر وحش لازم يكون في خبر حلو... أو ده المفروض يعني مش شرط...

الخبر الحلو انهارده إنه أخدنا موافقة من الشاعر الدكتور عبد العزيز خوجه وزير الاعلام السعودي للمشاركة في البرنامج

أسيبكم بقى واقولكم تصبحوا على خير وفي انتظار مشاركتكم على ال 3 شخصيات اللي هنقابلهم الأسبوع ده وهنفضل نحكيلكم على مغامراتنا مع صاحبكم 710 جرينتش