Tuesday, 13 July 2010
I grew up with lots of "friends" around me.. and at an early age I discovered that friends aren't always real.. sometimes they are there for as long as things suit you both... sometimes they'll be there for you no matter what.
At that early age I lost a very dear friends.. He passed away.. It hurt.. I had an argument with him days before he passed away and I said something I will regret for the rest of my life. It never crossed my mind then that life can be so short.. I always thought that we'll die old..
When I heard the news I froze.. couldn't think or react.. "it can't be true".. "no way".. I even convinced myself it was just my imagination or maybe a nightmare and now that I woke up everything is back to normal. I even got ready for school, put my headphones on, switched on the music and made my way to school.. as soon as I saw my friends and they asked me I fell to pieces... It suddenly sunk in..
After that I got into a state of depression.. thinking "why him.. he's young.. he's like a brother to me.. I have no one else to talk to who really understand.. no one to tell me when I do something wrong.. no one to support me or encourage me...no one..."
Days later those "friends" around me started to fade away.. they were no longer interested in the girl who is in this state of shock.. they missed having fun..
I promised myself then to never have "friends" or even friends.. It was going to hurt either way so why bother..
A few weeks ago I discovered why we have to bother.. because LIFE IS TOO SHORT. One day you won't wake up.. or you'll fall sick and won't recover.. or you'll be crossing the road and never make it to the other side... it can be anything.. having real friends around is what makes life worthwhile... nothing else will..
If you have a friend out there that you haven't talked to for ages - now is the time.. If a friend of yours is cross with you about something - go talk to them.. make it up for them.. restore that friendship.
I hope my friends will remember me as the smiling kid who always wanted to have a happy life and enjoy every bit of it with her friends...