Sunday 22 August 2010

Ramadan

This year it seems to be so different - certainly than the last year...

This year Heba is not around.. it doesn't feel like it did before.. like the family is incomplete and it doesn't feel right..

I also lost interest in so many things... Series... I don't care anymore. I'm downloading stuff but I don't even try to follow what's going on or what is the best one etc....

I also became single since the last Ramadan.. That - albeit took a long time to confirm it - feels so much better than I though it would.. I was in a relationship with a selfish baby.. It became so apparent - especially in Ramadan - the amount of time and effort I needed to please that baby.. and it never worked.. He was selfish and was never satisfied with anything I do for him and always wanted more.. It really is such a relief!!

I also started exploring people around me.. started to not care about who was happy and who wasn't.. Instead, all I care about is who deserves to be and deserves the time and effort and who does not.

It makes all things make sense.. amazing



And now to keep focusing on the future.. 2 more months.. I'm sure they'll be ok..

Can't wait..

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